ChicagoImprovAnarchy

2006-07-10T09:39:00.000-05:00

Gabe Martinez of the CIA will be hosting a charity gig at the Apollo Studio Theater in Chicago this Wednesday evening. That's June 12th. Lots of the city's top performers will be there to entertain. For details, see the gig portion of our myspace or visit the websites for the Apollo Theater, the Chicago Abused Women Coalition or Ticketmaster.

2006-02-07T12:58:00.000-06:00

Happy Safer Internet Day

We, the agents of the CIA, plan to ensure the safety of the internet for you - our loyal cohorts and followers.

We don't know how to do it, but we feel no less responsible for giving empty promises than anyone else these days. Besides, we put on theatrical improv shows for the people. We have no political ties, nor do we lobby or petition for anything... well maybe humor. Yeah, we petition for humor. We lobby for the funny!

Wow... we might need a soapbox for our passionate pledge to comedy.

This blog has been filtered to ensure 100% pure non-disruptive content.

2006-01-24T12:10:00.000-06:00

Dan's top albums of 2005, published at Lost At Sea:

Click Here

Enjoy!

2006-01-09T15:52:00.000-06:00

Soon in the Calendar section will be two upcoming shows we'll be performing in. They're free to attend and the drink specials are pretty good. Drink Specials?!?! Yep, get some drinky drink while you watch us entertain.

January 30th and March 27th

Improv Mondays @ Mullen's
3527 W. Clark Street (Clark and Addison)
Mondays 9pm to 11pm
Free Improv with some Stand-up
UPSTAIRS - with our own bartender!!!
$2.50 - ALL Miller Products
$0.25 - Wings

2006-01-08T18:32:00.000-06:00

R.I.P. Elvis Presley

2006-01-05T14:54:00.000-06:00

those horribly unavoidable moments present...

Eliminating stress by becoming a pest.

Has the office environment put your head into a spin of frustration? Is there a coworker irking the hell out of you, but can't retaliate for fear of repercussions. Well, do what I do and piss off an unknown speller that has no clue who you are.

Visit this website, www.wannaspell.com, and enter any room. What you'll find is the online equivalent of whiteboard with whole load of magnetic letters and symbols. Now, the intent of this site is to spell something by dragging the letters around the board, but that's a waste of time and effort as you'll be sharing the board with about 100 other people. Instead, invade any attempt at accomplishing anything. Someone trying to spell a word... pull their letters to the other side of the board. Someone trying to make a picture, maybe a face... cover it up with a bunch of "W"s or "M"s. Try to get a group mind together through chaos; see how long it takes to get people to dump all the letters and symbols into a single pile. Pick on one person (there are few people in there determined to spell out their message) or many. Either way it will put you at ease knowing that you can do something destructive without causing any damage.

Stress reducing through aggravation...

2006-01-01T10:30:00.000-06:00

With the end of the year past (yep, that was last night), you might have been forced to read, watch and hear all the best and worst things of 2005. Well, the ImprovMFr doesn't care about the top or the bottom of the lists; I'm more into those that just got by.

So here it is: the 2nd Annual Middle 5 of 2005!

In the category of Music...

48. Hefty Fine by Bloodhound Gang
This album is really enjoyable and intended to be a little more oft-putting with its earlier title, Heavy Flow, but the reason why it made it here comes in how few good songs are on this album. Of 12 tracks on the album, only 9 are songs and one seemed like it was phoned in. But of the remaining eight, each had its own clever Bloodhound Gang twist. Ralph Wiggum is a grand example as Jimmy Pop takes his favorite Simpsons character and uses past lines of dialogue as the lyrics to the song. You might want to grab this as it might be the last album� just a hunch.

49. The Woods by Sleater-Kinney
Sleater-Kinney decided to go to a new label (SubPop from Kill Rock Stars) and then decided to change their sound a little. The basic sound is there somewhere, but the end result seems a little more dismal and less of the poppy kick that you heard in their previous releases. They still put forth a good album, because they are a great band, but it just gets a few plays out of me before I switch back to One Beat.

50. the weight is a gift by Nada Surf
Why are they so sad? Sad and sleepy. This is a perfect example of the mean of 2005. It�s a great composition, but nothing stands out and grabs you like past singles in albums.

51. Good Apollo� by Coheed and Cambria
Sounds a little like the previous album, except without enough of the catchy hooks I found in the last release. I like the rock and this one almost does me good, but sometimes it becomes more grating than rocking.

52. Howl by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Guys at BRMC� a word of advice � get a drummer and keep him when you record albums. It doesn�t matter who as long as they play the drums on the album. There is a song or two worth listening to, but more often than not it gets a little folksy for my tastes. Remember guys, don�t kick the drummer out of the band right before you record.

In the category of Film�

I found so many of this year�s films kept me away more than I would have liked (DAMN remakes). So instead of the Middle 5 of 2005, I�ll list the five movies I almost wanted to see but forgot because I had things to do.

Doom
It�s the Rock fighting demons, how can that be bad? I wanted to see a demon get a Rock Bottom. Definitely a renter, but only if discounted and add more Rock fights in the special edition.

Waiting�
It�s got some great comedic actors like Ryan Reynolds, Justin Long and Anna Faris, but that boyfriend from Joan of Arcadia. Hey whats-your-name, get out of the shot we�re trying to make a funny movie here. If they edit the show killer out of the scenes (yes, I will condone CGI for this once), then I�ll go see it.

The Weather Man
I kinda wanted to see this to see if I recognized any of the locations they shot. That�s about it. Because I watched Running Scared (you know � Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines as Chicago cops) again the other night and found out that they filmed on my block. They drove the wrong way down the street and parked in the alley � just cool even if it was filmed here 15 years before I even knew this place existed.

Zathura
I was curious� a little. I mean Jumangi in space � kinda cool. However, I saw no Robin Williams and then saw that Ashton Kutcher lackey Dax and decided maybe the DVD but only if there are still monkeys.

The Chronicles of Narnia
I hear that if you look closely, you can see Jesus� face in that lion�s mug�

Have a mediocre 2006

2006-01-01T09:52:00.000-06:00

Hello all you anarchist loving freaks and welcome to the new year!

In 2006, we are looking to make it easier for you to see us. We will have new shows at better times and more familiar locations. Yep, we're looking to put our CIA shows in the primetime and at theatres that are easily accessible to all people. Stay tuned for more details.

Also, in the new year, we will have more CIA things for you to indulge in. Right now we are looking to make friends, so we felt it good to have our own MySpace page. Come visit and be our friend. And coming soon, the Subterfuge page. We looked for things that would entertain you for hours, and we found a bunch. We will have games and links and all sorts of playful goodness. We're doing this to entertain you off stage, even if you're unable to see us on stage.

Now that it's 2006, come get your CIA fix!
The CIA

2005-12-28T08:54:00.000-06:00

Sarah's Fun Anecdote of the Day:

As you Rant Line readers know, I work for a medical record printing company. While filing just now, I came across a customer file for "Cytology Lab" which, in my barely awake state, I read as "Gynecology Land." First thing that comes to mind?

That is the worst idea for a theme park EVER!

2005-11-09T10:48:00.000-06:00

The Holy Time has come once again. Yes. The McRib has returned to McDee's. I know where I'm eating tonight.

And now, three words and phrases I never want to hear my 60+ year-old coworker say again:

3) Suppository

2) Lazy colon

1) Penis

Thank you for your time.

2005-09-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the fall TV lineup folks... hopefully you are finding the right poison for the mind as I am.

Well, if you have enjoyed seeing Chris O'Donnell on the TV, I have the pleasure telling you that it's time to move on. Yes, fans of Head Cases, it is time to present the first to fall prey to the viscious ratings war. Head Cases truly never had a chance by competing with the likes of Lost at 8pm CST (I'm in the MidWest people), so sorry. I will say that only letting the show air twice is simply ridiculous. Honestly though, how can a network expect a new show to find an audience, if an audience only has two chances to catch the show? Why even put it on the air, if you had that little faith in it?!?!? Even in baseball, they allow you three chances to hit it out of the park.

whoa... trite baseball reference... I think I need to get some rest

dragging the remaining episodes to the curb,
ImprovMFr

2005-09-14T14:47:00.000-05:00

At work, we - for some unseen reason - have begun listening to the country music station. Now as many of you already know, I hate (and by that I mean "HATE-with-the-fire-of-a-thousand-suns" hate) country music. Except for Patsy Cline, which I regard as a much higher power than country music... but we're not getting into that right now.

Anyhow! Onto my point! The country music station has approximately 10 songs in its rotation. And if I hear Faith Hill's "Mississippi Girl" one more time, I'm going to have to choke a bitch. For those of you who have never heard this song, you can find the lyrics here:

Mississippi Girl

Got it? Ok. Good. Now read that another 20 fucking times in a row and you'll feel my pain.

Foul mood,
Sarah

2005-08-24T11:36:00.000-05:00

For the first installment of my new bit entitled
"Is it me or can you hear it too?"

The White Stripes are becoming such a mainstream music group with their latest album, Get Behind Me Satan, that their latest single (My Doorbell) had its video debut on Nickelodeon of all places. Well that's all and good, but I can't help but think Matt Groening influenced them a little...

Can you hear similarities between My Doorbell (links to Amazon sample) and the Futurama theme song (links to fansite wav file)?

Maybe it's just me,
MjL

2005-08-19T10:55:00.000-05:00

I have such a hot, sexy voice that I'm now recording my company's phone messages for incoming calls. *cheer!* Go me! *flex*

2005-08-12T11:38:00.000-05:00

I really need a vacation. You couldn't tell from reading The Rant Line, since I haven't been busy here, but I've been really working hard the last year or so, and that's about how long it's been since I've taken any real time off. Starting one week from today, though, I'm off for a 9-day excursion across America. And I can't wait. I need a break from working, in every arena of my life, and I need to see some things I've never seen before, just to be inspired.

Plus, once I get back, football season will be getting ready to start. In fact, tonight is the Jets' first pre-season game. I'm already obsessing over ever detail of training camp, reading every tidbit from the New York Post, New York Daily News, Newsday, the New York Times, and web sites like ESPN.com and JetsInsider.com. Yeah, I'm a nerd for this stuff. And I love it.

Here's some new Lost At Sea reviews:

Patrik Tanner

Death In Vegas

Get Him Eat Him

The dog days are upon us. Be sure to be as lazy and disgusting as one.

2005-07-01T16:25:00.000-05:00

thum presents: Does this annoy you too?

1. catching a glimpse of one of those stupid promotional billboards for El Chocolate radio show
(the one with the melted chocolate on the girls mouth...); they are everywhere - ugh

2. 5/3 Bank should not be pronounced Fifth Third Bank...
5/3 equals Five Thirds or the bank should BE WRITTEN LIKE THIS (1/5)/3 Fifth Third Bank

3. the fact that you can commit a crime (no matter how minor) or be part of some strange incident (however insignificant), and you'll be able to sell your already overexposed story to some PR Lame-O for a large sum of cash and additionally not be held too responsible for your actions

4. there was a four but I had forget what it was because it was that annoying

5. I am not sure that I spelled Lame-O right; spellcheck doesn't know either (or the word spellcheck)

thum happens

2005-06-10T14:00:00.000-05:00

My company prints medical records. A few months ago, we got a new customer by the name of Travis Center Angiography. My genius co-worker entered the name of their company as Travis Center & Geography. *slaps forehead* Instead of ordering over the phone, this time they ordered through our website and spelled out the name of the company. They probably also framed our invoice.

In other news, for those who are curious, I have indeed achieved my goal of 30 minutes on the Devil (i.e. the elliptical trainer). And surpassed it. Forty minutes yesterday. PUT 'EM UP!! AWWWWW YEAH! Take that you elliptical, butt-pain-inducing bitch!!!

2005-05-27T13:24:00.000-05:00

My most recent musical obsession: MF Doom. Best underground hip-hop artist, period.

Here's a song you can dowload. It's a Madvillain song ("Money Folder") remixed by Four-Tet. Madvillain is a collaboration between MF Doom and Madlib (the best underground hip-hop producer.) Four-Tet is an electronic artist. This is sweet. You're welcome.

More Lost At Sea writings:

iPod is My Co-Pilot #5

iPod is My Co-Pilot #6

The Soap Box #6

LCD Soundsystem review

Funeral Diner review

Remember to tip your wait staff.

response

2005-05-25T09:26:00.000-05:00

Well,

When you're as beloved as the Improv MFr is, companies take notice.

Or these posts are coming from a disclosed location.

Whichever rationale helps you sleep at night

because curbs are very cool,

Improv MFr

Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new Resources site!

2005-05-25T09:04:00.000-05:00

In an effort to shrink my ass before my much-needed vacation (52 looooong days from now), I have begun the South Beach Diet and started going to the gym.

Workout summary: 30 minutes walking/jogging on the track for a warm-up; 30 minutes doing the fat-burning program on the stationery bike; 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer; 30 minutes in the pool; 40 minutes in the jacuzzi trying to boil the pain off my muscles.
Tears shed in pain: Countless.
Pain killers taken (so far): 2 (yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are).
Pounds lost: 5.

Okay, so I've actually only done 15 minutes on the elliptical trainer. That thing is kicking my ass. But 30 is the ultimate goal.

And has anybody else noticed that all of Marty's posts now seem to be sponsored by Yahoo?

which veggie do I look like?

2005-05-19T13:14:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official - the Fall lineup is out, folks, so check this out.

So let's get to what should be the my highlights of TV this fall...

Monday:

Can I say, "FINALLY SOMETHING TO WATCH ON A MONDAY AT 7PM!!!" Yes, Arrested Development has moved fans, so start watching. And 7th Heaven fans, you'll get more moral lessons in the 30 minutes of Arrested than in a full season of 7th - just remember, do the opposite of the Bluth family. Besides that I'll be flipping between Monday Night Football (last year here, folks) and Las Vegas (probably last year here, folks) the rest of the night. Skipping laundry this night.

Tuesday:

Call me lame, but I like to catch the Dennis Miller-esque dialog of the Gilmour Girls (can you find all the cultural references in one episode and understand them) - not to mention Lauren Graham. Besides that, I'll get Jason Lee in My Name Is Earl followed by The Office, then over to ABC for Boston Public. So much for getting laundry done on Tuesday night, I'll have to wear that underwear again for one more day...

Wednesday:

Well, I'll be able to get a meal cooked this night as I might keep That 70's Show and Stacked on in the background, only to be ready to sit and study everything seen and heard on the later broadcast Lost (I'm telling you, they're in Purgatory). Maybe I'll squeeze a load of laundry in at the 9 o'clock hour unless there's new South Park.

Thursday:

ditto here from last season... coast channels until CSI comes on

Friday:

"America. Do you know what they did to the Mac?" Fox is trying to bury him alive. Friday night on Fox is a graveyard. At least, he'll have company with Malcolm and company. Outside of that, get out and get some fresh air (all that dirty laundry tends to let off some fumes).

Saturday:

move laundry to a distant corner near an open window

Sunday:

Flip between Fox programming and ESPN Sunday night game (last year here, folks - not that it ever caught my attention before). Wonder why I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in my life. Wonder where the wife (that's going to be her title in the fall) has been all week. Wonder why Jerry Bruckheimer likes to investigate so much.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

2005-05-06T12:33:00.000-05:00

My new candy obsession: Altoids Sours. I've tried the Citrus, the Tangerine, and the Apple. All are rather awesome.

More of my other columns:

iPod is My Co-Pilot #4

The Soap Box #5

Weerd Science Review

The Apes Review

Keep reading!

Also - don't forget to call yo momma this Sunday. Or I'll do it for you. You know what I'm talkin' about. Yeah.

CatchUp

2005-04-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

So far I am maintaining my New Year's resolution and I'm even increasing the difficulty level to it...

To recap, I decided I was going to see a concert each month and I have managed to do so. January was at Cal's to see Let's Get Out Of This Terrible Sandwich Shop. February was the Bottom Lounge for Loraxx. And March got me to the Metro for Slint's reunion (thanks to Dan).

At that point, I decided to raise the bar. It seemed like I was getting through this a little too easily, so the new stipulation is as follows: "No venue shall be visited more than once!"

Well, let's just say I'm knocking Schuba's off the list of possible venues with tonight's Shipping News show.

I better keep the Empty Bottle on the side for any possible emergency last ditch efforts...

possibly curbing my chances of success,

the Improv MFr

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

2005-04-28T09:48:00.000-05:00

Contiuing my use of The Rant Line as a "Dan Filowitz Archive":

iPod Is My Co-Pilot #3

The Soap Box #2

The Soap Box #3

The Soap Box #4

Blue Merle review

You jerks better be reading all of this.

Along with "Dan Answers For The Man"

Jerks.

2005-04-14T14:06:00.000-05:00

My most heartfelt congratulations go out to Britney Spears and Kevin Federline on their recent announcement that they are expecting their first child together. May your child be healthy and happy, and may parenthood keep you too busy to ever record one single friggin' note of another album!

Cheers!